COWBOY IN A HUNDRED GALLON HAT

I WAS DYING IN THE DESERT OF HUNGER AN THIRST

I COULDN’T BELIEVE MY SWOLLEN EYES AT FIRST

ALONG CAME THIS COWBOY IN A HUNDRED GALLON HAT

HE CHARGED UP ON HIS WHITE HORSE AND DOWN HE SAT

HIS COWBOY CLOTHES HAD NOT ONE SPECK OF DUST

HIS WHITE HAT WAS TALLER THAN ANY CACTUS

HE SAID SON YOU LOOK STARVED I’LL MAKE YOU SOME STEW

AND HE PULLED OUT OF HIS HAT A MICROWAVE IT WAS BRAND NEW

HE WARMED UP THE STEW QUICKER THAN A FIDDLE

I STARTED TO EAT BUT I STOPPED IN THE MIDDLE

WHOA! WHERE’D YOU PLUG IN THAT MICROWAVE COWBOY?

HE GRINNED LIKE A CAT AND SAID IN A VOICE REAL COY

I PLUGGED IT IN FROM TUCSON ‘CAUSE TUCSON’S MY HOME

COWBOY TUCSON’S MILES FROM WERE YOU NOW ROAM

REACHING IN AGAIN HE POPPED TWO CANS OF BEER

I SAID LOOK IN YOUR HAT COWBOY FOR MY RUNAWAY STEER

AFTER WE ATE HE TOOK OUT SOFAS AND A TABLE

WITH A COLORED T.V.ON A VERY LONG CABLE

HE SAID YOU WON’T BELIEVE ME BUT IT’S ALL TRUE

I’M PLUGGING IN THIS T.V. FROM TUCSON TOO

AT MIDNIGHT HE YAWNED WANT A REGULAR BED

OR ONE OF THOSE WARM WATER BEDS INSTEAD?

AND I SAID I’M HALLUCINATING HE SAID NO WAY

BUT, WE’RE IN THE DESERT PLUGS DON’T WORK THAT WAY

HEY COWBOY I CAN’T SLEEP UNTILYOU ANSWER ME

SON TUCSON’S NOT THAT FAR IT’S IN MY HAT COME SEE

YUP WHEN I GET LONELY I PUT TUCSON IN MY HAT

AND PLUG IN MY APPLIANCES WHEREEVER I’M AT!

NOW, I’VE GOT A QUESTION, WILL YOU HELP ME OUT SON?

TO THE COWBOY IN A HUNDRED GALLON HAT I SAID DONE

I SLEEP BEST UNDER AN ARIZONA SKY IT’S SO BLUE

THE SKY’S A TIGHT FIT IN MY HAT HELP ME SQUEEZE IT THROUGH

THANKS TO THE COWBOY IN THE HUNDRED GALLON HAT

I SELL DON’T BE LONELY HATS WHEREEVER I’M AT

WE EVEN HAVE TWO HUNDRED GALLON HATS FOR SALE

THE UNIVERSE FITS IN THESE HATS WITHOUT FAIL!

Repeat first line and last verse and fade

Joe Pickering Jr. Songwriter King of the Road Music BMI publisher and copyright owner

C 1991